When I woke up that morning, I was so calm and excited. I got dressed and pinned on my bib. I wanted to french braid my hair to keep it all out of my face but I couldn't get it to work so just did two regular braids. My stuff was already packed so I left my hotel room at 5:20 AM.

We stayed in Cambridge and our hotel had a coach bus to take all the runners to Boston Common to board the busses to Hopkington. I bought a small coffee to take on the bus with me and filled up my hand held water bottle with Nuun. The hotel offered bananas and granola bars as well.

When I got to Boston Common, I had to walk to the gear check area. I had my gallon ziplock with nuun tablets, my calf sleeves, two picky bars, my aquaphor, my sunglasses, my chapstick, and my hand held waterbottle. The air was cool but I was comfortable in a pair of windpants, and wind jacket that I had rescued from our Goodwill pile. I went to the bathroom and then I waited for my training partner, B, another Oiselle woman from Wisconsin, L, and two other Oiselle women we were going to ride buses with. I ate my banana.

The bus ride to Hopkington was fun. The previous time that I ran Boston, I went with a training group and we had our own coach bus to the start so I hadn't done the BAA school buses before. We got to the Athlete's village and immediately found a spot in the shade to stretch out. I hit the bathroom again and then grabbed a plain bagel and another banana. I had finished my 16 oz bottle of Nuun on the bus ride and then started drinking the water bottles they had available for us in the Village. I was SO THIRSTY.

It started to get HOT in the village. People were all talking about how warm it was and I felt like this was no big deal. Yes, it was hot but we couldn't change it - we would be fine. I was really loving all of the camaraderie of the runners in the village, especially when we would see other Oiselle women (easily identifiable by our jerseys!). There was an instant bond being part of the Volee that was truly amazing. I received and gave hugs to complete strangers. Posed for pics with them - later to be seen on Instagram. LOVED it.

I used the bathroom one more time and then had to get to the start corral. I had discarded all of my clothes already and was sitting in my race shorts and bra for a while. I slathered on some more sunscreen on my shoulders and lubed all around my bra top. I pulled on my calf sleeves and started walking. I didn't know anyone who was in my start corral so I didn't talk to anyone. Even though I had gone to the bathroom 3 times, I felt like I had to go again. I didn't have time to go again and chalked it up to nerves so I stayed in my corral. I was already pretty warm and still really thirsty. Despite this, I was set to go. Excited!

The gun went off and I started my watch a few steps ahead of the actual start line. It was SO crowded, which I anticipated, but I was having trouble getting into stride. I approached mile 1 in 8:00 which was right where I wanted to be. It didn't feel smooth but I wasn't worried because it often takes me a good 5 miles to find my stride and settle in. I was HOT though and already through about half of my nuun that I brought along. This was unusual for me. I typically don't start drinking anything until about an hour into a long run.

I grabbed a cup of water from the aid station and tossed it over my head. FELT SO GOOD. Mile 2 was 8:01. Still on plan, but still felt off. Grabbed more water for my head.

Mile 3 was more of the same - 7:54 pace and more water for my head. At this point, my water bottle was empty, so I grabbed a cup of water and poured it into my water bottle as I was running. It was time to start speeding up, per my plan.

Miles 4 and 5 were 7:34 and 7:49. I was through that in about 39:40 something which was slower than the 39 minute time my coach gave me. Time to do first full body scan. I didn't feel right. I was so hot, thirsty and just could not get my legs to feel natural running. I had a headache. Still, I felt like I would settle in. I still was grabbing water at every mile marker to throw on my head and trying to dump some in my water bottle. I think the slowing and speeding for the water tables took a toll.

Miles 6 through 10 were a bit of a blur. I just tried to keep my pace constant around a 7:30. There was absolutely no shade on the course for the first half and I was feeling it. I took a Gu around Mile 6, which was what I had trained for. My mile splits were 7:42, 7:40, 7:39, 7:43, 7:35. This was slower than I should have been, but I wasn't worried because these seemed like training run splits. However, during my training runs, these splits felt easy. They definitely felt more "medium effort" at this point. My leg turnover was just not happening in a nice fluid way. I still was not panicked - I felt like I could make this all up and it would be fine.

I still had to pee.

Miles 11 was a beast. 7:53. Yikes. I recall getting excited because I love the Wellesley scream tunnel and the Oiselle Cowbell Corner was going to be shortly after that. I was fired up through the scream tunnel - loving the signs and the screams. I stayed to the left of the girls so I didn't do any high fives or kisses. The Oiselle Corner was fun. Mile 12 was a 7:32 followed by a 7:39 mile 13. OK. HERE WE GO. My half split was 1:41 something. I had printed out a 3:15 pace band at the Asics tent at the expo which had displayed what my half split should have been - 1:36:41 - for my goal pace. So I was five minutes slower than on pace. I still was not concerned - thinking that I was going to be fine and could make that up. I am the queen of the strong finish, right?!

Ok. Prepare for some TMI. Between miles 13 and 14, the pantiliner that I was wearing was bunching up, likely from all the water I was dumping over my head. I had forgotten to rip it out at my last bathroom stop before the race. It was so freaking annoying. I kept trying to stick my hand down my pants to fix it and it wasn't working. I also still had to pee so I made the decision to duck into a porta potty at mile 14. My mile 14 split was 7:42 and I peed all over myself but felt better. I got back on the course. My mile 15 split was 8:13.

At this point, a little doubt kicked in. I could not believe that I still had 11 miles to run feeling like I did. I took a deep breath and just told myself - get to Dave and Marybeth (friends of mine on the course who were going to be in Newton). This worked for a bit - mile 16 was 7:27. And then it didn't. Mile 17 was 7:53 and mile 18 was 8:15. My legs hurt, I was so hot. I stopped and walked. At that very moment I heard my name and saw Dave and Marybeth. I ran over to them and gave them a hug and told them to text my husband that I would see him a little later than planned. (He was at mile 25). I started running again when I literally ran into my training partner, B. She was also struggling. We talked each other through it....maybe said that the race was bullshit...but that we wanted our medals.

Mile 19 was 7:49, Mile 20 was 8:34. We felt awful. We took a bunch of walk breaks. Mile 21 was 9:29; Mile 22 was 9:12; Mile 23 was 8:55. Somewhere around here, I lost B. I was literally shuffling my feet. My back was killing me. At mile 23, I just wanted to be done but I felt like I could finish it and keep going. I was telling myself this is where the crowds are awesome and my family is ahead. I'm not going to make 3:15 but maybe I can break 3:30. Mile 24 was 8:05. My legs and back were on fire. I just had to get to Mile 25 to see my kids - keep running, keep running. Mile 25 was 7:52. I heard my husband and I just stopped. He said - "We are at the green flag ahead!!" I looked up and there was a green flag maybe 20 feet ahead of me. I hobbled over to the flag where my family was! I gave Maggie a kiss through the gate and then Will leaned over and yelled "MAMA" and gave me a hug and a kiss. My dad said, "you are almost done" and I just said, "Easy for you to say!". I crossed the line saying "one mile to go" and just kept repeating "right on Hereford, left on Boylston, you can do it".

I turned left on Boylston and the finish line was SO. FAR. AWAY. I just stopped. I then said to myself, "What the hell are you doing?! You can't walk on Boylston." So I kept running through to the finish. Mile 26 was 8:18.

I crossed the finish and thought I was going to pass out. I did NOT want to end up in the medical tent but I could not stand up straight because my lower back was so hurting. My legs were not feeling good - I just wanted to get my calf sleeves off. I had my medal, I had my warming blanket and I sat down to get the sleeves off. "You can't sit here Miss. You have to keep moving through to gear check."

I lost it. I just started sobbing. I'm not talking tears - I'm talking sobbing, choking. I was in a ton of pain and I was STARVING. This is another weird thing because I am never hungry immediately after running. I got back up, and kept slowly moving, continuing to sob. I shoved a banana in my mouth and started chugging some Gatorade Protein drink they gave me. I got through to gear check, got my back, dug out my phone and called my husband, still sobbing. He told me they were at Newbury and Exeter and that my daughter was standing in a line to go to the bathroom.

I sat down on a sidewalk, calmed down my crying a bit, took my shoes off, the calf sleeves and put on my Birkenstocks from my gear check bag. AHHHHHHHH. By the time I met up with my family, I had gotten myself together and was so excited to see them.

Then it was back to find a taxi. My two year old of course wanted me to carry him. Nevermind my aching back, I put him on my hip and started walking to the taxi. #MotherRunner